In my last post, I mentioned "sick makes me laugh". I found this out in a discussion with a woman. We were in the "getting to know about your family history" stage. Beyond dating, beyond first physical activities (whatever you conceive that to be). She told me about her grandfather- a brilliant, well-known man in his international community. He died when her father was in his early teens. She told me her grandfather was riding in a jet airplane, the window blew out and he was sucked out the window. The scene was horrific in my mind, and I laughed. I could not control it. It was not a belly-laugh, not a joyous laugh. It was as if the absurdity of it took control, and I was being tickled unmercifully by the gods of chaos. I couldn't help it in any way. I was laughing, completely unwillingly, as I said "Oh my god, no, honey. That's awful. I am so sorry." It didn't last long, but it surprised us both.
A few minutes later I apologized profusely, but I know I hurt her feelings. I know she believed me, and she had occasion to see it again in other circumstances where hideous absurdity became risible to me. She knew it was unwilling, and not something I enjoyed, but something beyond conscious thought.
I'm sure knowing that didn't make it any easier, but I am also sure that she probably will today occasionally say, "This guy I used to date, when I told him how my grandfather died getting sucked out an airplane window, LAUGHED! Can you believe it?"
So decreed.
4 comments:
That's not terribly unusual. In college I did a student-written play, very dry humor, and the best damn scene in the thing was the two main characters doing the "dating-getting-to-know-you" thing, trotting out the stories about the exes, and those stories of how they died kept getting more and more ridiculously horrific. Jiminy titsmas, but that was hard to play straight, especially on an incredibly dusty sofa.
Seriously, though, sucked out a jet window? I'd worry about your humanity if you *didn't* laugh.
Swear to heaven. I didn't ask her father about it, him being 2 years younger than me and hating me for dating his daughter (long story), but it was true.
heh! Maybe that exposure to adult reality, that a normal human often laughs about such things, is one reason he didn't want you dating his young daugther.
As long as she was legal, I'd be on the side of wanting her to understand grownup life. But hey. I got no kids myself, never did, so I'm kinda...warped that way, and certainly don't have the authority of personal experience on the parenting perspective.
Yeah, no kids here either. She was legal, couple of years so. I was a thug, but not a pervert. Well, not THAT kind of pervert.
Dad just didn't want to ever have to introduce me as the son-in-law that was older than he was (not that THAT was ever gonna happen). Mom didn't like it either, the only ones who did were her younger sisters. One said I was kind of like a stepfather that she actually liked, as opposed to her actual one.
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